Wow...

So, it's been a really long time since I've posted here. I'm at college now. But, I'm not enjoying it. I just feel like it was suppose to be different. I feel like I don't really fit in here. So, I may transfer next year. It just all depends on how I feel after Winter Break, which is in nine days. I can't wait to go home! When I left for school, I figured I'd miss my family some, but not a whole lot. I figured I'd call every couple of weeks. I call about every other day. I hate being four hours away from family. I feel isolated. I've made good friends here. It's just...like I said, I feel like I don't really fit here. And these past two months have been very trying. So, my life's not really changed at all. What else is new?
  • Current Music
    Diamond Eyes--Shinedown

(no subject)

I fucking hate my life. I hate my town. I can't wait to get out of the shit-hole that I've been trapped in for the past six years. My parents got a new television. I can't understand why. The t.v. we have now is perfectly fine, and I really like it. So, I just can't understanf the reason to go out and buy a t.v. when we have a good one. They always say they're broke. Well, then, stop going out and buying useless items. But, they were going to keep the t.v. now and put it in our basement. Okay. Fine. That's cool. But my mom mentioned that when my sister gets out of school, she'll get it. Fucking. Bullshit. It just gets me so fucking pissed off that they never ask me whether I would want any of the stuff they give away. I would like the t.v. for when I graduate college and get my own place. But I guess now I won't. It's just such bullshit. None of my siblings really got any extra stuff, and that's fine, I'm not upset about that. I'm upset about the fact that it seems like I get jack-shit. And that's how I feel. Like while they get little extra things, I don't. And I'm just so fucking tired of it. I have to pay my own goddamn enrollment fee and application fee for college. I have to pay my own way on a trip I'm going on in March. I have to pay for everything. But, whatever. I'm just done. It used to be that when something wouldn't go my way, I'd fight it. Now I don't. And that's the worst part. Life has finally beaten me. And no one seems to care.
  • Current Mood
    pissed off pissed off