My confusing, crazy, totally-unfair, messed up life.

Writer's Block: Tonight, tonight

2009-12-24T20:40:31Z

I'll go to my church's Christmas Eve service, and then me and my parents will watch A Christmas Story

Writer's Block: Like mobile for chocolate

2009-12-24T01:55:22Z

Cell phone, definitley

Writer's Block: You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch!

2009-12-22T17:53:32Z

I look for all the classics, like Santa Clause is Comin' To Town, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, and A Christmas Story.

mesnyder_92 @ 2009-12-21T19:17:00

2009-12-22T00:19:18Z

Dear fucking asshole of a bastard,
We're no longer dating. Stop trying to fucking control me. I must've missed the memo that says if you don't trust someone, they must be up to no good. FUCK. YOU. You still act like my boyfriend. You say I'm the one who made things complicated when I broke up with you. I tried to be you friend. Obviously, you have your head too far stuck up your own goddamn ass to notice that whenever you do shit like this, like fucking calling my parents to check up one me, hurts me and freaks me out. I'm my own person. I have good judgment. Don't try to fucking control me, you motherfucking bastard. Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't fucking call my parents to check up on me. If you were to move away at this point and I never saw you again, it'd be fine with me. Have a nice life, asshole.

Sorry about that. I just had a really big rant I had to get off my chest. I know it doesn't make sense, but trust me, I'm being totally honest when I saw that everything I said up there is true. I hope everyone except for the fucking asshole of a bastard I mentioned before has a wonderful holiday.

M.E.S

Writer's Block: Will You Marry Me?

2009-12-21T17:49:55Z

It would just the two of us, by ourselves somewhere. He wouldn't have to plan this great speech or anything, but saying a little somehting would be nice

Writer's Block: My Favorite Movie Quote

2009-12-11T20:19:59Z

Probably "Well, I feel kind of bad for her. She has a glass eye, you know. And I'm the only one who knows which eye to look in."

Writer's Block: BFFs

2009-12-07T22:00:49Z

My best friend is either my sister or my friend Amber, because that I know that no matter what, I can tell aboslutley anything without any judgment, and they'll always be there for me.

Writer's Block: Name your passion

2009-12-02T22:04:27Z

Probably writing or animal rights. Writing because it's the one thing I know for absolute certainty that I'm good, and animal rights because I believe that animal should be treated with repsect and integrity, just like peopl.

Writer's Block: Twilight becomes you

2009-11-22T18:04:54Z

I think New Moon was a little better than Twilight, and it was pretty close to the book, and I loved the movie.

So...

2009-11-17T21:51:49Z

I broke up with my boyfriend on Friday. I wasn't happy and it just wasn't working. The truth is that he could make me happy, I know he could, but I don't want *him* to make me happy. I didn't tell him that because I don't want to hurt him more than I already have. I'm goign to give him time, and we're going to try to be friends. I know we can be. I told him that I don't want him waiting around for me, that if he meets someone, he shouldn't be afraid to date them. I mean, just because we're not together now doesn't mean we won't be in the future. It simply means that we aren't good together right now. I hope that he can understand that. And then, it's like I committed a horrible. Half of my friends are syaing that we should get beak together. They're not gettiong that I wasn't happy, and if I stayed in the relationship with him, I wouldn't have been.I just wish that people would get that already.

Feelings...

2009-11-10T23:52:10Z

So, I'm still dating my boyfriend of over a year. But lately, we've been having trouble. I'm not all that happy, and I have a feeling he's not either. He says that he can make me happy, and I think that he could. But I don't want him to. I want someone else too. A guy that goes to my church. He's two years younger than me, but we just get along so well. We click. I told my boyfriend today I wasn't leaving him. It's just...I don't know. I want for the first time in my life to put myself first and to make myself happy. But it feels like at the same time he's trying to guilt trip and pressure me to stay in the relationship. He's not meaning to, but it feels that way. He talks like if we're not together, there's no life for him, and it sucks and I feel like shit because I don't feel the same way. My boyfriend's important to me. I want him to be happy. I would hope that he would want to same thing. Even if we weren't having trouble, if he came up to me tomorrow and told me that this wasn't working, that he wasn't happy, I'd let him go, because I love and I want him to be happy. I'm going to give us some more time, and if I'm not happy, then I'll end it. I just don't want to hurt him. I want him to go out and find somebody new and someone who'll be better for him.

Writer's Block: Last supper

2009-11-03T23:35:45Z

I would like to spend doing everything I've ever loved doing, and some new things. I would spend it with my friends and family, but the last few minutes, probably by myself.

Writer's Block: Time traveler

2009-11-01T19:14:31Z

I would definitley go back to the twenties, and be kind of like a flapper girl. I would like to stay there for a while, then come back, and I would either take my boyfriend or my best friend.

Writer's Block: Seeing stars

2009-10-27T20:47:34Z

Dr. Derek "McDreamy" Sheperd

mesnyder_92 @ 2009-10-20T15:04:00

2009-10-20T19:10:35Z

So, I went to go see a counselor. Which is not what I wanted. Don't get me wrong, I like the guy, and he's nice, but I wanted to see an actual therapist. One that could help me professionally, and who could tell me what was wrong with me. But I guess not. I know why my mom took me to a counselor. One, because he's free. So he won't show up on the bills. That way my dad won't find out and get upset. The second is that since he's free, she won't have to worry about money. I know therapist's are expensive. But I wanted once, just one fucking time, for my parents to put what I want or what I need over money. It;s kind of like, to me, saying, yeah, I know you have problems and need help, but I'm too worried about the dollar signs to get you real help. Oh, and I guess my mom didn't put that cat outside, but my parents still made me give her away. It seems like my parents never think about what I want and the never consult me about anything. But, hey, they've been doing it for seventeen years, why stop now?

M.E.S

Writer's Block: Bucket list

2009-10-20T19:03:46Z

I would go see Ireland, Scotland, Germany, Italy, France, buy every book I could, and just have more fun that I've ever had.

Lies...

2009-10-17T16:57:40Z

So, my mom lied to me. Straight to my face. We found a little kitten outside about a month ago. She's been having a little trouble using the litter box, and her and our other cat, a boy, don't exactly get along so well. Last week, me and my dad were leaving for school, and who do I see right outside our house, but Socks, the cat we found. My mom said that she was taking some garbage out the night before, and she must've slipped out then. Okay. I can accept that. But this morning, I get up and go downstairs. My mom mentions that Socks didn't use the litter box three times last night. So, I ask where she is, and my mom says she doesn't know, that she smacked her after she saw the accidents and that Socks was probably hiding. Okay, I can accept that again. But, I was down in the basement, and we have windows with little spaces in front of them than can allow you to see into our basement. Stray cats have climbs in there before, since it's warm during winter. So, I'm in the basement, and I hear a meow. I look around, and who do I see in the window but Socks. So, I run outside and lean down in front of our back porch which is over the windows and call her name, and she comes out and I take her back inside. Now I know that my mother told a lie right to my face. And it pisses me off. So, you want to give her away? Fine, I won't like it, but I'll do it. Don't throw her outside when it's forty degrees outside and then lie right to my face about it. Have more decency than that.

M.E.S

Writer's Block: Nothing to fear but fear itself

2009-10-17T15:41:28Z

My biggest fear is honestly being left for someone else. That and leeches.

Writer's Block: The one that got away

2009-10-12T00:02:13Z

Yes, I totally believe in soul mates and one true loves, and I hope I've found mine.

Writer's Block: Concert mania

2009-10-06T23:21:39Z

There's two bands...one, Journey, because I love them, and two would be Within Temptations.

Writer's Block: Do you prefer a tent or a luxury hotel?

2009-09-24T01:12:43Z

Camping, for sure.

Writer's Block: My Dream Job

2009-09-14T21:27:28Z

My dream job would be a journalist writing for animals rights and maybe an author.

I'm Done

2009-09-08T19:15:39Z

So, this weekend, all my siblings came down to celebrate my parents anniversary in October. My brother, Josh, met my boyfriend for the first time. It went well. At first. On Saturday, I went out with my sisters and sister-in-law. Apparently, during the time I was gone, something happened. My boyfriend, meaning no offense whatsoever, said some things that upset my brother and my sister's husband. My brother then went ahead and told everyone that my boyfriend was talking shit about my sister, which wasn't the case at all. So, on Sunday, I'm all upset and just really fucking depressed because it would make things a lot easier if my siblings actually liked my boyfriend, which I'm one-hundred percent sure that none of them so. But my sister, the one who everyone thought my boyfriend was talking about, approached me. She asked if my boyfriend made me happy. I answered yes. She said then that's all that matters. She told me to just say fuck it about everyone else, and I'm taking her advice. I'm done. I don't give a fucking rat's ass what they think of me anymore, or my boyfriend. I'm just going to say fuck it. I love him, and just because they don't like him and had a misunderstanding, doesn't mean I'm going to dump him. Hell no. As long as he'll have me, I'm his.

M.E.S

Writer's Block: Scorching day

2009-09-08T19:07:12Z

The beach, most definitley

Excited!

2009-09-03T20:44:45Z

Sp, this weekend, to celebrate my parents anniversary (Thirty years in October), all my brothers and sisters are coming here! I'm so excited! We hardly ever get to be together at the same time, and it's always a lot of fun when we do. This will be my brother-in-law's first real experience at this, so it'll be interesting to watch. Plus, my school gets out two hours early tomorrow, so that's a bonus, and we get Monday off. If I don't have any homework, this will be the perfect weekend! I hope everyone has an awesome Labor Day Weekend!

M.E.S